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Sell Your Grandkids for $13 a Week!!!


In todays economy who doesn't need an extra $13 a week in tax breaks!  Every week!!! For an ENTIRE YEAR!!!!! With that kind of cash you could almost fill up a PRIUS!  But that's not all.  If you mortgage you great-grandkids future today, we'll also throw in an expensive and encumbersome Healthcare Bureaucracy that will keep YOU from getting the medical attention you NEED.  For FREE!!  You may also be able to learn the mating habits of the One-Legged African Albino Grasshopper, long thought to be extinct in Nancy Pelosi's district, until a scientific lobbiest found MILLIONS of UNCLAIMED GOVERNMENT DOLLARS!!!  Or you may never learn about grasshoppers.  Insteatd you may learn you can no longer afford to heat your home, because we're capping ALL carbon emisions!!!  With Global Warming eradicated, you can finally freeze to death.  It's like Christmas!  No one knows what you'll get for our TRILLION DOLLAR GIVEAWAY!!!  Not even your "REPRESENTITIVES"!!! 

     

Tags: stimulus  
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Not Voying for Obama is Illegal!

Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, it is illegal to deny sombody employment based on race.  Since Obama is applying for the job of President, and we know the only reason not to vote for him is racism, not voting for Obama is against the law!  And since it is a crime not to vote for him, and the motivation for that crime is racism, it should also be a Hate Crime!  So there you have it: a vote against Obama is a Hate Crime!  Maybe an Obama administration can, regardless of the outcome in Pennsylvania, prosecute the entire western half of the state for conspiracy to commit a hate crime...
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Tax Breaks for the Wealthy

    Recently there has been much talk about repealing the tax breaks for the rich, so naturally people want to know who the rich are and will they be seeing a tax increase when a Democrat ascends to the presidency.  To answer your questions, a rich person is anyone who doesn't rely on Government for 90% of their income.  If you fall outside of those parameters you WILL see an increase in your taxes.

    Now while some of you may be upset about that, it is your own fault.  Let me explain:  Citizens always think they know how best to spend the money they earn and that Government will just "waste" it.  This is a myth.  Nobody knows how better to spend your hard earn dollars than wizened legislators who are unencumbered by selfish interests and who only have the public good in mind.

    To appease the sceptics out there I've prepared some examples.  During the past couple of years Americans have been told time and again to stop purchasing gas guzzling SUV's and to buy more fuel efficient cars.  With all this extra money from Bush's foolhardy tax cuts you would have thought everyone would have rushed right out and bought a hybrid, but no, they just made excuses about things like safety and convenience.  Rubbish!  I myself have four children and could have easily used the excuse that my family won't fit in a Ford Focus, but I cram them in anyway, stuffing some in the trunk and others in a cartop carrier.  Because honestly, whats more dangerous, a car accident or the glaciers of Greenland raising ocean levels and the planet warming 3.5 degrees?

    We were told to throw away our incandescent light bulbs and purchase healthy, environmentally sound mercury filled florescent bulbs.  But once again the excuses prevailed, nonsense about how the light is too harsh for some settings or how it flickers at just the right speed most likely to cause psychotic breaks from reality in schizophrenics

    No, most of you have missused your illgoten tax breaks for evil instead of good. 
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How Socialist Health Care Can Solve Our Problems

     Michael Moore is a brilliant man.  He understands the beauty of the Cuban health care setup.  Many conservative types criticize his newest film and Cuban health care without understanding the deeper issues.  The argument shouldn't be about how long the lines are or the quality of care, although that's what michaels' critics would like to debate, but about who has access to that care.

    On the left we believe health care is a right.  It is written in the constitution just as plainly as the right to privacy.  As it stands now there are people in this country, the most prosperous country in the history of the world, without health insurance; while in Cuba, a peaceful and charming yet poor(because of evil trade embargoes) country, everyone has government provided health care.  We need to rectify this situation to keep from being the laughing stock of the United Nations.

    Obviously providing the quality of care we enjoy now without the wait to everyone free of charge is practically impossible.  So the only solution then is to lower the quality of care for everyone.  Implementing universal health care and it's inevitable lines and poor quality will ensure that everybody has a chance of dying from perfectly treatable or preventable medical conditions regardless of wealth.

    Where do we get the money to pay for it, you might ask.  Rest assured that once rich people realize their enormous wealth won't help them if they contract the Plague, they will have no objection to Government reappropriating some of their money to pay for this incredibly shoddy and impractical system.  So in essence the program really pays for itself. 

    Plus, the net effect of this program would reduce the gap between haves and have nots by taking away from the haves.  And that is really what America is all about.

    

        
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My Solution

     It looks like those evil tax evaders are at it again.  Crafty citizens have come up with a way to avoid paying their "fair share".  While a few True Believers are doing their part to help Mother Earth by driving more fuel efficient cars, despicable anti-government zealots have begun to do the same.  That is the only excuse I can come up with.  Otherwise States like Oregon wouldn't be losing highway money do to fewer gas taxes paid from hybrid cars.  This is most definitely a Bush conspiracy; while he warned us about economic disaster from the NECESSARY efforts to reduce greenhouse gases, he never said anything about lost tax revenue.  It is quite obvious he kept this a secret so people "in the know" would be able to purchase hybrids and cheat the Government.  Fortunately Oregon has a plan.  They propose putting little black boxes on all private autos to track the mileage driven so everyone can be taxed according to how much they actually drive.  While I applaud their efforts, it seems to me only a short term solution to an ongoing problem.  There have always been elements in our society who wrongfully feel the money they earn is "theirs".  What happens when these conniving f***ers start taking the bus? or riding a bike? or, in any way driving less?  The good news is I have a Permanent Solution:  Instead of INDIVIDUALS receiving money for working, GOVERNMENT gets it.  ALL of it.  Right to the IRS.  Then at the end of the month a trustworthy, efficient and caring bureaucrat decides how much somebody actually deserves and cuts them a check.  Plus, this eliminates the black boxes.  It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that they could be used to track the comings and goings and whereabouts of people.  Which is OK until that somebody is a terrorist.  Then civil rights have been violated. 
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I Want to Take Those Contributions

     It would seem as if Hillary Clinton has no objections to taking things others have earned and using them to fund ideas she is more in agreement with.  If this is indeed the case she should have no objection to my plan:  I want to take her campaign contributions and put them in an account to fund candidates who's political stances and views I am more in agreement with.
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